Category: Journal Entry

  • To Infinity, Beyond…. and Birds (Part 1)

    To Infinity, Beyond…. and Birds (Part 1)

    Life is a movie!

    Photo by Darwin Vegher on Unsplash

    I wrote this journal about a weekend which was spent partly at the drive-in movie theatre, partly at the beach and finally at a massive buffet.

    While these moments may sound mundane on their own, at the end of my ‘adventure’, it did not feel ordinary. I was left with a swirl of unordinary feelings and thoughts and I wanted to condense them. Over time I kept writing and felt this piece became too long for a single post. Hence, you will notice that this experience of mine is split into two separate posts. Although you can read each one on it’s own, here I am, tugging at your sleeve like a little child, with a plea to read both one after the other.

    I imagined our weekend, like a movie itself.

    Cozy opening credits at the drive-in (watching Toy Story). Followed by a perfect sequel in the form of golden beaches and maybe a buffet for third installment finale.

    But no one thought that by the end of the first half, the radio would be blasting Maroon 5 instead of Woody(a character from Toy Story), the car trunk light would be auditioning for Broadway, and my family would be one step away from being chased off the beach by 300 birds.

    I pictured a golden sunset.

    Popcorn tubs the size of our heads.

    Fairy lights glowing in the trunk.

    Cushions so comfy you would think we packed the entire living room.

    And of course, Toy Story under the stars.

    The goal was simple: give my sister a memory she could take back with her, something we would talk about for years. And we did get that… although let’s just say, Pixar wasn’t the only one serving plot twists that night.

    Scene One: Sunset and Static

    We were among the first few to arrive at the drive-in, the sky was still orange and pink. We all had that restless excitement that we get before something fun.

    Then came the radio.

    The instructions were pretty simple, “Tune in to frequency X.” Easy right? 

    I tap the screen and set the radio frequency to ‘X’.

    I hear static, fuzz, and suddenly, Maroon 5 crooning, “She wiiiiiiill be looooooooved.” 

    A still from Toy Story at the Drive-In

    My husband tries again, and this time, it’s Lady Gaga, “Pa-pa-pa-poker face pa-pa-poker face, ma-ma-ma-ma” 

    Meanwhile, the family next door is nodding along to Toy Story. We fiddled with every button, leaned out of our car windows with polite desperation, “Hey, are you getting the movie?” They nodded. Meanwhile we were stuck in an accidental pop concert.

    I cracked a joke about Mr Potato Head being voiced by Adam Levine, but to be honest, I was tense. Me and my sister looked at each other with wide-eyes and signaled, “Is this really happening!?”. My husband finally gave up and marched off to get an actual radio. 

    He came back with the radio. But the tension was sky high.

    Scene Two: The Battle Of The Trunk Light

    With the sound sorted, you would think we could relax. Nope. 

    The trunk light.

    It glowed like a stubborn lighthouse, ruining our dark and cozy vibes. I tried everything, menu settings, dome light off, camp setting, climate tweaks.

    Nothing.

    It just glared at me like, Nice try lady!

    I found some tape in the car thinking we can cover it up. But it kept falling, peeling. Soon it looked like a preschool craft project, a last minute diorama.. tape hanging, paper falling, light still blazing like it’s auditioning for Broadway… and winning the role. 

    We kept laughing and groaning at the same time like contestants of a reality tv show who know what they have signed up for. 

    At one point, I had the brilliant idea to “trick the trunk”. Out came a paper clip. I poked the latch. It clicked! The light went off! Victory!

    … for two glorious seconds.

    Then the paperclip broke and got stuck.

    Me: I broke the car.

    My sister : Wide-eyed silence

    My husband: Calm, heroic, pushing the paper clip out like a Tesla-surgeon.

    Meanwhile, chaos was building up around me like I’m the centre of a failing ship.

    1. My daughter chanted on repeat, “I need popcorn, I need popcorn”
    2. My sister, half laughing, half exasperated, “I need wifi.. I need paper plate.. Where is the trash bag”
    3. My husband calling from his chair outside, “The radio is not working”

    And me in the middle, taped up, light blazing in my face, paperclip residue all over me.

    A picture of grace.

    My sister and my daughter having Poha and Popcorn with the trunk light ON

    Finally we went feral on the light. Layers of tape, more tape, all the tape. 

    The light gave up. 

    The crowd ( Us and our neighbors, who were following us more than watching the movie) cheered.

    It was pure comedy. Stressful in the moment but comedy gold in hindsight.

    The real winner though? My daughter. She ignored all of us including the light, happily curled up in my sister’s lap, laughing jumping, clapping and enjoying Toy Story like it was the greatest night of her life.

    Honestly, she was right. Kids always know how to focus on the joy. 

    I was too tired to eat much of the giant buttery tub of popcorn but my daughter made up for me. Her giggles were the true soundtrack of the night.

    This was the part 1 of our adventure. I would love for you to read part 2 and be a part of our little adventure.

    Read the second part here.

    If this diary entry spoke to something quiet inside you, you might like what I’ve written here, too.

  • Letters to Papa: The Man at the Corner Seat

    Letters to Papa: The Man at the Corner Seat

    Where I return to you one memory at a time.

    Photo by Patrick Pahlke on Unsplash

    My father was a simple man who lived his life brimming with NOW, everyday. Breakfast was his favorite meal of the day. He loved yogurt sprinkled with salt, cumin and Kashmiri red chili powder with almost every meal. Lunch and dinner would be incomplete for him without it.

    At night when my sister and I would sneak into the kitchen to make Maggi, his head would suddenly appear from the first door. With an ear to ear smile and a sparkle in his eyes he would ask, “Arre, what are you making, one for me too!”. In those moments, food was not just food, it was comfort, togetherness, laughter and just knowing he wanted to be part of our little world and not just mold us into his.


    He loved reading as much as he loved eating. Our shelves were filled with treasures: the complete Tintin collection, Rajan Iqbal, Mandrake the magician, Hardy Boys, Indian fiction, also the whole set of books related to management . He devoured comics and stories, the way he devoured his food, with absolute delight. Whenever he traveled, he brought back a mountain of books for me as gifts, as though he wanted me to inherit his appetite for books, as much as his appetite for food. My love for books and food, stems from him. He sowed the seeds for those dreams in me, just by living his joy.

    A picture of tintin figurines.

    Photo by omid roshan on Unsplash


    At the center of our house, is a six-seat dining table. Papa always sat in the corner seat, a place that was like his throne and lookout all at once. From there, he presided over meals, conversations, laughter and also arguments. 


    When a meal truly delighted him, Papa had a ritual. He would lean closer towards the table, lower his head and peer over his round glasses towards mom and say with a satisfied smile,”Tripti!” or “Maza aa gaya.” Those three words carried the weight of his joy.


    And he had a way of doing the same for me. When the world felt heavy, when my worries ran ahead of me, he would pull me back with the reassurance, “Tu chinta mat kar, abhi tera Baap zinda hai”. Don’t worry, your father is still here.

    Somehow that one line made the ground beneath my feet, steady again.

    Dad and Mum on his birthday.

    Dad and mum


    He believed in me. He always encouraged me to study. He showed me the importance of work and the importance to carve my place in this world. Never did he ever tell me that I belonged in the kitchen. Never asked me to make a single cup of Chai. Maybe that’s why, now, when I find myself cooking for my daughter, I wonder what he would think. Would he see the love and care in it?

    Would he see the way I’m trying to nurture her, and still be proud of me, even though he always imagined a bigger world for me?

    A part of me hopes he would smile and say, “Maza aa gaya.”

    I remember his cologne, his love for scents. I remember the gentle scent that meant papa was near. I remember his warmth, his teddy bear like persona. I remember his voice in the kitchen, his presence at the tables, his books on the shelf.

    Photo by Pierre Bamin on Unsplash

    The kitchen is mine now, but in it’s corners and aromas, in my books and in the laughter of my little daughter, my father still lives.

    And so, Papa,

    In memory and in love,

    I write to you.

    If you have lost someone dear, what memories and rituals keep them alive in your heart?

  • Our Favorite Pumpkin Bread Recipe (Kid-Friendly & Full of Memories)

    Our Favorite Pumpkin Bread Recipe (Kid-Friendly & Full of Memories)

    Photo by Olga Simonova on Unsplash

    Every two minutes she pulls my hands and takes me to the oven window, “Come mama! Come! It’s Rising!”
    Her and I have balcony seats to the most amazing theatre ever and the bread loaf in the tin is the star.

    She presses her nose to the window pretending it’s a portal. 

    I pretend it is. 

    The cake inside is performing, just for her.

    While we wait, I tell her stories from my own kitchen beginnings. 

    We discuss how I once spilled flour all over the floor while sieving it, how I cracked my first egg and let the shell slip in, how my first chocolate cake sank in the middle but my mom was proud anyway.

    She giggles at the idea of me being small, of me not knowing.

    I see myself in her. 

    Baking always felt extraordinary to me. The aroma that fills the house when you bake something is heavenly.

    I remember coming back from school at 4:00 PM late afternoon. Throwing my bag on one corner I would head straight to the kitchen because mum promised we would bake a cake together. And I would find her there, juggling many tasks while having all ingredients measured out and ready for me to mix together. 

    Now I wait for my little one in the kitchen. I wait for her so we can make our little project together.

    After mixing the batter, she licks the spoon just like I did, like this is a sacred tradition, passed down from generations.

    In between the stories, she checks the oven window. Again.

    I wipe my hands off a kitchen towel and follow her. Again. 

    We crouch together and peep through the oven glass. Again. 

    The pumpkin bread sits quietly inside, taking its time to rise.

    It is golden at the edges and we see cracks beginning to form on top.

    “It’s rising!”, she squeals with glee.

    And I realize… I’m watching something rise too. 

    Not just the bread.

    But, her.

    Her curiosity. Her joy. 

    Her I-Can-Do-This attitude.

    Her tiny hands, doing big things. 

    Her belief that anything is possible.

    This is more than baking.

    This isn’t just about the pumpkin bread. 

    It’s about a small ritual we are shaping together.

    Maybe one day, she will share these memories with her little ones.

    🍁

    When the timer finally beeps, I put on my trusted floral yellow gloves and carefully pull the cake out of the oven. 

    It’s the final act of our star. 

    My daughter claps like it’s a birthday, declaring, ‘Sharing is caring!’. 

    And we sing happy birthday to each other for no reason, other than it feels right.

    Later we find ourselves in the gallery on a blue rug, surrounded by fluffy cushions and in our pajamas.

    We eat the warm slices of bread. Because patience has left the building.

    Pumpkin spice is in the air. 

    If you want to find us, just follow the trail of crumbs.

    The whole house smells like cinnamon and vanilla.

    And love.


    We baked this together, one fine long weekend.

    If you would like to bring this little ritual in your kitchen, here’s my our (mine and my daughter’s) recipe.

    Years from now, she might forget this recipe. But I hope she remembers us together, shoulder to shoulder, waiting for something to rise in the kitchen and in herself.